


You are the sun, I am the sea you shine upon

by kreamhyuck



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Comedy, Comfort/Angst, Drama, Fluff, Freeform, Getting Back Together, Jeno is an angel okay, M/M, Multi, NCT Dream - Freeform, Romance, additional character pairings will be added, i guess, i really suck at these tags im sorry, markhyuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-09-15 16:50:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16937049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kreamhyuck/pseuds/kreamhyuck
Summary: Donghyuck is an achiever. At school, at life, and at Mark Lee.





	1. Is it too late to change?

“How long has it been?”

 

_2 years, 4 months, and 5 days._

 

“I don’t know, really.” Donghyuck flashed his most attractive business smile of all business smiles. If he’d had known God chose this day to make fun of him, he would have prepared a retaliation plan with his best set of suit and tie, (not that he owns one) most natural but striking eye make-up and a glossy cherry red lip tint. But this was supposed to be any other boring day on his usually boring life (Chenle and Jeno made sure to give him his dose of excitement every once in a while) so he went out as soon as he got up not bothering to wash up or even try to conceal his bed hair with a hat knowing well enough how the strands resists his command to stay put even after applying loads of products to make it look, well, human-owned. It’s freezing and Donghyuck just wants his hot chocolate, but he guesses it can wait for a little while, so he can tend to the familiar man he crossed paths with, seemingly happy that he met someone he knew on a busy street flowing with rushing pedestrians and honking cars. Donghyuck winced at the giggle he received from the man. The familiarity pains him to the depths of his bones.

 

“I think it’s been two years, Hyuck. I.. I’ve missed you.” Donghyuck’s eyes grew wide. What familiarity was he thinking about? Never did he expect the word “I miss you” to come out on Mark Lee’s mouth. “Who are you, and what did you do to Mark Lee?!” He shrieked, this time having a burst of laughter bubble up in both of their chest. It was nice to meet someone after so long. But if that someone was the reason why he ended up retaining a grade back in high school, then maybe he should just give him the looks and walk out straight away. He could do that anytime, he thinks. But not to this man. Not to Mark Lee. Never to Mark Lee.

 

That’s what he used to think though. He had never been able to resist Mark. But time is a natural healer. It made him stoic and hard headed. The painful throbbing in his chest made him break out a smile so natural everyone could fall for it. Even Mark who used to know him so much is just another victim of his façade. “I’d like to chat for more but, I should be going. I’m meeting someone.” Telling lies is still a little bit hard for Donghyuck even after all these years. He shouldn’t have added the last sentence as he sees Mark raising one of his eyebrows so high until folds of skin appeared above it. “Really? Looks to me you’ve just woken up?” Mark laughed. Donghyuck missed that. He used to hear that almost every day. It lingers on his room, on his ears, on his head. It never went away, the ghost of Mark Lee. “Yeah, I’m going to Jeno’s.” Donghyuck supplied. “Oh.” Is the only thing Mark could say.

 

They parted ways. Donghyuck bowing politely startling Mark with the gesture. Mark knew they had some fight that haven’t really been resolved before, but this was not what he was expecting of him and Donghyuck. What did he expect exactly? he doesn’t know. Maybe everything will go back to normal now that they both matured in those times they haven’t seen each other? Or maybe he had half expected the cold shoulder given to him. It was his fault anyway. He stood still as Donghyuck walked away from his direction. “I should’ve asked for his number.” He whispered to himself regretfully.

 

Mark Lee is like the sea. Vast and it covers the world. Donghyuck’s world. it shines whatever time of the day is. It sparkles right before your eyes. But despite its beautiful scenery, it’s daunting. It gives you the impression where you won’t be able to reach its depths no matter how deep you try to dive. That no matter how long you sail, you will never find the end of it. But Donghyuck is an achiever. At school, at life, and at Mark Lee. He can be crushed by the waves unexpectedly showing, drowned by the water too salty for his eyes to see, but at the end of the day, his body will come floating above it like nothing bad had happened in the last few minutes. It was his paradise in hell. And he loved it so much.

 

He remembers Jeno crying with him the day it had happened. The faithful day of their summer fight. The shouting, the curses, the meaningless threads of words thrown at each other. They’d bickered before. But not to this extent. Jeno was the one to tear them away from each other. To prevent what could have been worse. He’s the reason why Donghyuck was able to attend university even if he’s one year late. And even when they’ve been away from each other he was still there for Donghyuck. Calling, texting, visiting him every now and then. If Donghyuck could only love with his brain, he’d choose Jeno in a blink of an eye. But that’s not how it works right? It was Mark. And it will always be him in the end.

 

“I met him.” Donghyuck said sheepishly at the counter. Jeno has been manning the cashier, his eye smile present for customer service. It took him a good minute before realizing what Donghyuck was talking about. He gave him a small knowing smile, a pat on his shoulder and a slice of chocolate cake on the house.

 

It was bound to happen, Donghyuck thought. Mark has always been near his vicinity. He knows because he observes. (read: stalk) He tried so hard to stay away to the point he managed to skip a year and attend a different school when Jeno finally forced him to go back to school and finish his studies. It took him a year to finally block all of Mark’s social media account. Another half to change his phone number although Mark has been blocked from his phone the day after they fought. The very reason why they never came into terms. His phone vibrated from his pockets and he knows all to well who it was from.

 

**Jenjen my love [9:45]**

I’ll meet you at your dorm after my shift so be sure to be there at 5. 

I know you’re upset but please relax a little because you’re scaring away our customers! 

I called Chenle to pick you up. Wait for him, okay?

 

**Hyuckielicious [9:48]**

K

 

**Jenjen my love [9:52]**

Really hyuck? 

I hope you choke.

 

Donghyuck chuckled as he put his phone down. He met Jeno’s eyes and stuck his tongue out in the most childish way. Jeno rolled his eyes in return and they both smiled from the distance. They were too preoccupied to notice eyes staring at them from the café’s door, mouth formed a straight line. They missed the way the man lowered his head and gripped the door handle too tight. The way he walked away from the sight with arms slumped down, profusely apologizing when a green haired boy bumped into him and stared at the crowd ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really confident with this but I still decided to post it. I'm trying to start writing again for the sake of learning. (lol whaaat) English is not my first language and I'm kind of trying to improve my skills lmao. anyway, If you guys have questions you can always ask me in the comment section. *-* I cannot promise to update that fast because I have some things going on but I already started Ch 2. things can still change depending on the response I get so welp. 
> 
> I love Markhyuck so much, okay? who doesn't right? And to those who said Hyuck was ugly, (I'm sorry I saw this on twitter and I am appalled!) you guys are BLIND. The door's that way, thank you very much.


	2. Friends?

_“I’m not so sure of us anymore.”_

_Mark’s eyes started tearing up. It hurts so much. There’s a lump on his throat preventing him to talk normally but the words still flow out smoothly like water. “Is there even an “us” in the first place?” Donghyuck glared at him at that. Confusion mixed with anger clearly showing on his features. He can see the tears fighting to escape his red-rimmed eyes. “You’re a coward Mark Lee. And I hate you.” Donghyuck spitted out and Mark was so so hurt. He never intended this. He never wanted any of these. He should make it right, right? But his mouth betrays him before he can even act the way he wants. “You’re worse than me Donghyuck. Remember that.”_

_And that was that. He can see Jeno holding Donghyuck down, trying to calm him before he can land a punch on Mark. He sees Donghyuck relaxing on Jeno’s hold, turning away from him and melting on his arms. Not his. But Jeno’s arms. He can hear Donghyuck’s wailing fit and Jeno’s shush, whispering sweet nothings to calm his best friend down. Mark’s best friend. It was all that. And Mark can do nothing but clench his hands, trying not to punch Jeno for being the one to hold Donghyuck in his lowest point which was caused by no one else but him._

Mark woke up covered in cold sweat. He never had that dream for a long time. He felt out of breath and a little dazed out. It has been 3 days since he unexpectedly met Donghyuck. 3 days since he decided to act on before it’s too late. 3 days since his will was effortlessly crushed by the exchange happening right in front of his eyes. It irks him. Whenever he sees Donghyuck, Jeno was there, just like before. He can see them exchanging smiles as Jeno subtly looks at Donghyuck’s way. And Donghyuck, he looks dazzling. His eyes smile the way they did when they used to talk before. The difference is, it’s not towards him anymore. It shines to the person at the cashier looking ethereal down the yellow lights of the café. Mark just don’t stand a chance.

This is reality. And it’s harsh.

Mark pulls himself up to get ready for his class will begin at 30 minutes as his brain lingers on a particularly hearty laugh his heart knows too knowingly well.

 /

Mark doesn’t know what to call it but it’s between luck and mishap. As soon as he tried to let go of his thoughts, he hears it on the halls. The one thing that has been on his brain for 3 straight days. His eyes automatically searched for the source, and it lands on a boy with honey voice. It wasn’t his intention to stare but maybe his eyes were fixated at him for a moment. Suddenly, a piercing laughter broke Mark’s trance. It was loud and high-pitched, like when somebody suddenly ate a fresh slice of lemon on a morning. Was it a dolphin? Mark doesn’t know, but it resembles something. It was then that he noticed Donghyuck wasn’t alone. Beside him was a kid with green hair that no matter how much Mark think is probably a high schooler. How did he get here? And beside the high schooler was a giant Chinese hot guy, too mature-looking despite having the same age as Mark with a deep voice Mark was sure he envied at one point. “Oh, Mork!” Lucas, the giant called him out. He cursed his friend under his breath hoping he trips at the stairs.

He awkwardly waves back as he tries to force a genuine smile, which, by the way, failed miserably as he locked eyes with the high schooler between Donghyuck and Lucas. Mark has never been a fan of kids Because: 1. They are loud and at times, obnoxious. 2. They are cute and scary. And 3. They judge you the way you can’t seem to defend yourself and in the end you’re the pathetic one for not being enough for their expectations. This kid added a number 4 on Mark’s list. They are fucking intimidating. Mark would lie if he said he never thought of just running away as his limbs get a little trembly. But Mark is an adult and he is going to man up. It’s not even Donghyuck, and he makes his list twice scarier even if he’s just a year younger than Mark.

“Hey, cas.” Mark greeted with his eyes planted on Donghyuck. It never really came down to Mark how beautiful Donghyuck has been for the past 2 years. Not that he’s not before. He was the prettiest boy Mark has ever seen in his life. It was also a late realization. He watched Donghyuck grew. From his little limbs to long legs he flaunts every time he visits Mark to the lips that became the same color as roses and formed a heart as his features mature. Today, Donghyuck’s usually tanned skin is even tanner and Mark feels his breath hitch. It was a beautiful sun-kissed color striking against Donghyuck’s yellow pastel t-shirt that is a size too big for him, tucked in too-tight black stripped skinny jeans. He unconsciously bit his lower lip as his gaze linger on Donghyuck’s lips that are a bit parted, smeared with lip gloss. And as his eyes travel upward, he met Donghyuck’s eyes staring at his’. He blinks. Once, twice, too many times before greeting him. “Hey, Hyuck.” He smiles. This time, he knows it’s genuine.  

 /

“He looks hot in person.” Whispers Chenle as they walk behind the two older and Donghyuck swat his arm currently resting on his’. He _tskd_ at the younger’s comment. _I know_ he tells himself. He always has been. But not that kind of hot where everyone drools over him. Mark is that cute kind of hot where heart eyes and awes are the perfect reaction. At least for Donghyuck. _“You can’t runaway forever.” “Just face him and everything is going to be alright.”_ Jeno’s voice has been on repeat on his head and Donghyuck contemplates on having it diagnosed. Does he need help? Oh no he does not. He can do this on his own. He promised himself and Jeno and Chenle over some grape juice ( _“No soju Donghyuck! Chenle’s a kid!” “I’m just a year younger!!”)_ and a Netflix tv show they had long forgotten.

So much for Donghyuck’s dismay, he may have to face Mark a little sooner than he originally thought. “How did you even end up with this subject?” Donghyuck asked as his head gets dizzier at every passing second overthinking things. “I- uh- kind of..” Mark trailed. His cheeks started to flush pink along with the tips of his ears. His eyes gazed around everywhere else except Donghyuck. He cannot just disclose the information that he may or may not have forgotten to apply for an important pre-requisite on his first year because he was busy complaining about _the love of his life_ to Lucas at frat parties freshman aren’t allowed to attend. He cannot just tell him he’s been preoccupied with singing along The Beatles’ Here Comes the Sun because Donghyuck reminds Mark of the yellow ball of light, fiery and majestic, and everything Donghyuck is. _“He warms everyone’s heart._ ” Mark says one day to Lucas. Lucas just shrugged him off telling him it’s the alcohol talking. But no, it’s not the stupid alcohol. Mark is sure. Because that’s what he felt every day with his Donghyuck.

Donghyuck is fuzzy and small in Mark’s arms. He’s shining, and Mark’s eyes are blinded. The giggles he let out makes Mark’s heart melt into goo and his stomach is bursting open with butterflies trying to escape the tiny area in Mark’s body. But as much as Donghyuck is like the sun, he gets hotter every day. Not that kind of hot. Oh no, Mark thinks. Donghyuck only gets hot in front of Mark. But he does get angry. And sometimes, Mark just don’t understand why. It’s frustrating because both are too stubborn to talk it out. A child’s pride is bigger than anything else in the world. Donghyuck’s is twice the larger. And Mark, he’s just plain old Mark. He let’s go and doesn’t question. And that’s the problem. He never questions. He never asks.

 /

The following hour went surprisingly well. It was just like the old times, Mark thought. Not the awkward atmosphere he was expecting. Donghyuck has been talking to him like nothing ever happened but Mark knew there’s a bit of a difference on his tone. He’s holding back a little. Which is totally understandable. If it were Mark to act on, he may have been a stuttering masterpiece. Donghyuck would love to hear that. Both relaxed in the presence of each other. They had small talks and minutes later, they’d be arguing already. Both are reminiscing the old days in their own heads without the other’s knowledge and fate has never been this good to them.

“Hey Mark?” Donghyuck called as Mark prepares to leave the room, ready to walk away with his heart full of ease and comfort. Donghyuck smiled at him, and he smiled back. “Yeah?” “It was nice. Meeting you again like this, I mean.” Donghyuck paused. His eyes still searching something within Mark’s own, and Mark has never been so eager to let him in and search for more. “Friends?” Donghyuck asked, a little softer and quieter as if he’s afraid it might break the momentum they’ve build. Mark smiled so wide, his cheekbones floated so high on his face. His eyes forming into crescents and he finds himself nodding a little bit. “Yeah! I mean- yeah. Friends.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wend- weird. lol


	3. Man up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up! this and half of Ch 4 focuses more on Jeno, but he's significant for the story's development so, yep :)

2 months. 2 months is all it took for Mark and Donghyuck’s friendship to return to normal. _“Too easy.”_ Chenle says. They are at the café where Jeno works as they lounge on a spot they reserved for themselves without the owners’ knowledge. Despite the clear hostility of the younger towards Mark, Chenle ended up liking him better than anyone else. From _“I will punch him for you once I met him, hyung!”_  to _“Gosh, Mark is so cute I want to pinch his cheeks.”_  And well, Donghyuck doesn’t know if it’s a good thing or not. Jeno, however, still doesn’t talk to Mark. Not that he doesn’t want to, it’s just that Jeno would always have a “ _We’re awkward with each other, Hyuck.”_ excuse. They were not awkward. He knows. He has seen it.

/

Jeno met the duo back in high school. Donghyuck remembers being mesmerized by the kid with pretty eyes. “You’re handsome.” He told Jeno once they got sorted out and became seatmates. Jeno looking baffled snorted out a laugh and Donghyuck, oh, he loves pretty things. Their cat at home with flowy fur when even asleep looks majestic under their coffee table, his mom’s glittering collection of eyeshadows, their neighbor’s baby pink Volkswagen, He’s a sucker alright. And right in front of him, the boy with the prettiest eye smile he’s ever seen. _I’m going to own him_. And so, started a friendship neither of them had anticipated. Even Mark.

Mark who was always with Donghyuck despite being a year above, and vice versa. Their dynamics has changed with the addition of another boy in their relationship. But as Donghyuck said, “ _I like Jeno, hyung! So, you’ve got to like him too!”_ Mark doesn’t seem to have a choice. As shy as he can get to strangers, Mark tried his best to be friends with the younger kid too. But it seems like, he doesn’t really have to try. Jeno is a natural charmer. He makes Donghyuck laugh, which in turn makes Mark laugh. _He’s got weird jokes!_ They got together more often, had sleep overs, had lunch in the cafeteria, Mark not minding to join them instead of his same age friends, had ice creams and pizzas and all sorts of things friends got to do on a daily basis. They fight too, of course. But it’s still mostly Donghyuck and Mark. Jeno has been the designated referee much to his dismay. But Jeno doesn’t mind. He’s always been kind and loving and Mark thinks he’s an angel in disguise. Mark would not say it out loud but he’s thankful for Donghyuck liking pretty things.

/

“You sure you’re okay being friends with him?” it was out of the blue. Chenle sipped his iced chocolate as he stabbed daggers through his eyes. It might not look like it but Chenle has always been protective of Donghyuck despite being younger. It was one of the qualities Donghyuck likes about the guy and he has an endless list with him. (But not his dolphin laugh. It’s too loud.) “Funny how you asked that after 2 months?” Donghyuck answered. Maybe it was too easy as Chenle said but he can’t help it can’t he? They had always been best of friends. They know how to talk to each other, to approach, and to respond. “Of course. Friends.” He finally said without hesitation but Chenle only gave him a knowing look.

 

/

“Mark?” he whipped his head as fast as he can. He hasn’t heard that voice for years and he doesn’t really think he would ever hear it again, not after what happened. But there he was, seated at the farthest back of a classroom meeting Jeno eye to eye. The clear confusion gracing Jeno’s features made Mark let out an awkward laugh. “Hey.” He waved with both of his hands, dragging the word for another second. As embarrassing as it sounds, his reason for being in a class with Jeno was the same one he had with Donghyuck. It was a last-minute decision as Lucas scolded him about the importance of having good and well-balanced majors for his future endeavors. And so, Mark, being the ‘ _supposed to be´_ good student that he is, complied, enrolling for the subject which leads him to his current situation. He doesn’t have the time to explain nor did he wanted to, so he ended the conversation with a bob of his head, redirecting his eyes to the TA who started the lesson by quoting a famous scientist Mark surely has not heard of.

Jeno hasn’t said a word for the last 40 minutes and Mark was almost thankful. Almost.

“How are you?” Jeno broke the silence between them. It was a surprisingly calm tone. Sweet even, if Mark would consider it. Mark looked beside him but Jeno wasn’t looking. He always knew that Jeno will grow up breathtakingly. The chubby cheeks would melt away to hollow ones along with the sharp jaw the younger is now wearing along his features. If there’s something Mark could pinpoint from the Jeno before, it was his eyes. The beautiful eyes he and Donghyuck came to love. The one thing Donghyuck was obsessed with. “ _He is so pretty”_ he remembers telling himself one day when Jeno and Donghyuck came over. Chips long forgotten on his bed, the trio took upon themselves to cook _‘real food’._ Donghyuck’s words. Not his. Mark would then try to crack an egg, succeeding on his first try but not without the shell itself. Jeno would then laugh and as he tries to salvage their work, ending up with an egg shell on his hand and an egg yolk on the floor. They were banned from the kitchen from then on by none other than Donghyuck himself.

“Hyuckie’s pancakes are really good hyung!” Jeno told Mark, his eyes sparkling. Mark felt a slight pang of jealousy as he tries to remember when had Jeno tried Donghyuck’s pancakes. He’s never had them. Albeit his feelings, he smiled at the younger, his braces sticking out. “Really? I can’t wait to try them then.” It was out of protectiveness he thought, that maybe, Jeno doesn’t deserve to feel Mark’s growing obsession with Donghyuck. It’s nasty, he thought. But that’s where it goes wrong. It was when Mark was a third year, and the younger boys were on their second when Jeno confessed to Mark how Donghyuck was so beautiful under the sunlight, how his smile brings Jeno’s heart to jump out of his chest. “ _I think I have a crush on Hyuckie, hyung.”_ He shyly whispered to Mark as they waited for Donghyuck to come on their usual spot at the cafeteria. Mark could only gulp.

/

“I’m.. good.” Mark says in a matter of minutes. “How about yo-“ “I was mad at you, you know.” Jeno intercepted. This time, he’s looking straight through Mark’s eyes. A smile not quite reaching his eyes. And again, he felt the terrible ache in his chest. A little duller than the one he felt at Donghyuck’s, but nonetheless, still painful. “I’m- I’m really sorry on what happened with Hyuck tha-“ Jeno grunted cutting Mark’s gauche apology. Clearly pissed but still composed. Mark let out a small smile. He relishes the young Jeno in his memories. He has always been the most patient out of the three especially when it comes to Donghyuck. Mark may have snapped several times at him but not Jeno. He was sweet and gentle and understanding. Always accepting Dognhyuck’s petty reasons and acknowledging Mark’s appeals. He remains still. He doesn’t know what to say.

“Am I not your best friend too, hyung?” It was almost a whisper that Mark thought he heard it wrong. “Jen..” “I waited for you, hyung. Donghyuck was MIA for like months, and you never went to me. Why do I always need to look for the both of you? I was- enraged- when you obviously, purposefully, avoided me in the hallways. Was I just any other person in your life? Am I just Hyuck’s friend, and not yours? Do I really mean that small to you, hyung?” Mark was stunned. He never thought any of what Jeno has stated. The three of them were best friends and even with misunderstandings and disagreements, he would never take that title away from the two. He considers meeting them the greatest thing Mark has ever had in his life. He shook his head with a small force, trying to convey his bewilderment on his eyes. “No!” He whisper-shouts. “Oh my god, Jeno, you know that’s not true! You are my best friend and you’re as significant as Hyuck is to me! It’s just that-“ Mark paused, his lips forming a straight line. But Jeno’s eyes were pleading, trying to break into Mark’s heart, wanting an explanation. And so, he continued. “I just thought that- you’d be mad at me. For what I did to Hyuck. We both know how you feel for him. And I- even when I knew that- I still-“ “Ehem.” Mark just can’t seem to complete his sentences today can’t he? The TA raised an eyebrow at them, eyeglasses slipping down the structure of his nose. “Do you want to share that with the class or both of you will shut up?” He asked, anger evident on his tone. “Sorry, sir.” They chorused.

/

 

**Hyuckielicious [4:28]**

Jen

Might I remind you that we were supposed to MEET UP at 4 PM AT THE CAFÉ JUST IN CASE YOU FORGOT

LIKE

Im okay here

Just waitin

BUT WHERE ARE YOU

CHENLES HARASSING ME

PLEASE SAVE ME

 

**Jenjen my love [4:34]**

Sorry

Got held up

Im coming

 

**Hyuckielicious [4:36]**

RUN

**Jenjen my love [4:40]**

Can’t.

Have company.

😉

 

Donghyuck grimaced at Jeno’s message. Who the hell is he with? Donghyuck doesn’t want to know. What he wants is for Chenle to shut the fuck up. He’s been rambling about this certain ‘ _cutie’_ in physics and Donghyuck had enough of his _‘pretty eyes’_ and ’ _soft voice’_ and he didn’t care about the dude’s _cute habit of getting nervous whenever, wherever._ “ _He sounds constipated.”_ He claimed and earned a slap on his arm in return. He needs Jeno to replace him in his misery and it’s been fuckin who knows how many minutes has been. He better have a pretty descent reason for being late. And as if Jeno has an ability to sense danger, he showed up exactly the moment Donghyuck’s ready to shove Chenle’s untouched Oreo cheesecake right into the younger’s loud mouth.

“Jeno!” Chenle chirped at the older’s arrival, motioning him to sit between him and Donghyuck while the latter only offered a glare. Jeno chuckled as he drops his bag pack on the floor. He ruffled Chenle’s hair and rested his face on his palms, facing Donghyuck. He’s got a smug smile plastered on and peering eyes, as if violating Donghyuck’s mind. Chenle, who has miraculously decided to shut up looked at Donghyuck and then Jeno, repeating the motion, clearly curious of the way Jeno’s acting. “What’s up?” He asked at the same time as Donghyuck rose his eyebrows up. Jeno stayed like that for several heartbeats until he chuckled. “I met Mark hyung.” He says, eyes still smiling. Chenle gasped and laughed because apparently, it’s something he finds funny. Donghyuck was just baffled. “Okay? So, what?” He resisted the urge to ask more _invasive_ questions as those will have to wait once they were in the safety of their dorms. But Jeno chose to sprawl details on Donghyuck’s face in public because Jeno is an asshole. “Well, nothing much. We talked and made up-“ “You were fighting?!” That was Chenle, oogling up the space left on Jeno’s side. Jeno just grinned. “And I found out one little interesting thing.” He continued despite Chenle’s obvious disappointment for his unanswered question. Donghyuck would lie if he thought nothing of that _interesting thing_ Jeno learned but he’s actually afraid to know what it was and the nerves got his tongue. So Jeno just answered for him, knowing well enough what he would ask. “I think he still likes you.” Much to Jeno and Chenle’s anticipation, Donghyuck looked dazed. “Oh.” He said on a flat tone.


	4. Tranquility

“Hyuckie’s waiting for me at the café.” Jeno told Mark as they walk down the campus side by side. Jeno’s been busy fiddling with his phone since the lecture ended and Mark swears he saw a glimpse of something between ‘Hyuck’ and ‘delicious’ on the notifications. He’s ready to give Jeno his side of the story but it seems like Jeno wants other things. “Look, Jen. I moved on, okay? I’m okay. He’s yours.” The words tasted bitter on Mark’s tongue. Jeno crunched his eyebrows as he lets out a disbelieving noise, only a confused Jeno could make. “You’re giving me Hyuck?” He asked Mark with a pitch higher than Chenle’s dolphin laugh. It makes Mark’s ears tingly. “He’s not yours to begin with, don’t you think?” Jeno continued. Mirth evident on his eyes making Mark a little perplexed with his reactions. _He’s not. Never did._ He told himself.

 

/

 

“How are they?” Donghyuck asked with anticipation. His fingers are fiddling with his sleeves and eyes turning round as they widen with a hopeful unknown emotion Mark has yet to name. He’s been biting his lower lip since he gave Mark the pack of his _freshly baked_ cookies and Mark thinks he’s too adorable. Donghyuck has come to like baking some time along in the middle of the year. It was weird, Mark thought because Donghyuck was not really a fan of pastries. He took another bite, this time a big one because the first one was too tiny for his taste buds to work on the cookie. “Hmm! It’s good!” Mark exclaimed. “Heh. Of course, they are.” Donghyuck mumbled with a smug on his face but the obvious darkening of his cheeks tells Mark the younger was being shy. _Cute._ Donghyuck has never been a good receiver of compliments even though he gets them too often. “Jeno has weird taste buds.” Mark continues, and the latter’s eyes widened again. He should stop doing that for the sake of Mark’s heart. “He told you about the cookies?! Oh, someone’s dying tonight.” Mark doesn’t understand but he still laughed.

 

Mark was a pretty patient kid. He knows it himself. And since he’s a hyung to his two younger best friends, he’s doing his best to look out for them. But maybe the constant look on Jeno’s eyes towards Donghyuck has been messing up with his brain. The way they hung out every day, the intimacy and closeness they developed. They’ve been a lot closer now and Donghyuck mostly just talk with Jeno going all out as to having a ‘ _Hyuck and Jeno night’_ which obviously Mark wasn’t invited to. And although Jeno has been mum about his secret crush on Donghyuck, Mark was oh, so, jealous and could only pout from afar. He told himself that it’s going to fade away, whatever heavy feelings he has developed towards Donghyuck he refused to acknowledge. Mark was so sure of his resolve to keep his feelings at bay. But Donghyuck makes it hard, because it’s what he does. Make Mark’s life hard. And he’s pretty good at it. He riles Mark up until one day, the emotions he tried so hard to suppress leaked out of the bottle that is Mark Lee. He kissed him. Just a peck, but it bears everything Mark was feeling. His breath hitched when he pulled away. Donghyuck’s eyes are staring right at him, glazed with tears threatening to spill. “I’m sorry Hyuck! Oh my god, I shouldn’t have done that!” He squeaked as he cups Donghyuck’s face with his shaking hands. And then there was it. Donghyuck finally cried but it wasn’t sad. He was smiling all so innocent and delicate and Mark, he’s whipped. “Don’t you dare say sorry for doing that Mark Lee.” Donghyuck hissed gleefully.

 

/

 

“If It makes you feel any better,” Jeno starts as they began to part ways, the younger meeting up with Donghyuck and Chenle and Mark going back to the dorms to mope and laze around. Mark looked back to see Jeno still smiling at him with his eyes. “I don’t want him.” Mark crunched his brows not really getting what Jeno meant. “He’ll never be mine hyung. I thought we made that clear before.” The words hit Mark painfully. The thing is, Jeno had always been the mature one. It was never Mark. Jeno was always understanding and forgiving. Maybe it was the unfinished business they refused to talk about back then or the untimely clashing of their feelings for Donghyuck. Or it may also be the wind blowing thousands of invisible particles into Mark’s eyes that made him let out a single tear he rapidly wiped off. He inhaled as he tried to compose himself. Jeno was bewildered but he made no move to approach his hyung. Instead, he continued to talk. “Please don’t make the same mistake again. And don’t lie to yourself. I know what you’re thinking. Get your head out of your ass and properly ask him out for god’s sake.” Mark was stunned but it clearly made him feel better. “You’ve been hanging out with Hyuck too often.” And then they laughed.

 

//

 

Donghyuck had forgotten how _dumb_ Mark is until he accidentally (Read: sneakingly) saw the older’s midterm grades when he was checking it out online after class. Being a talented golden boy has its drawback. He is fucking good at procrastinating. It was never a problem back in high school since Donghyuck was there to make sure he maintains the grades he needs in order to participate on all the clubs and programs he signed in. He’s not sure about his last year but seeing Mark in college assures Donghyuck he made it through. That’s the question. How the hell did Mark Lee survived with those grades? Now, Donghyuck was not the type to meddle but his _best friend instincts_ are perking up and he’s fuming. “Mark _hyung._ ” Mark stiffened. Donghyuck rarely called him hyung. But when he does, it’s when he needs a favor or when he’s mad. And he’s quite sure it’s definitely not the first one based on the octave lower than his usual tone he used to emphasize the ‘ _hyung´_ part. “Yes?”

 

“Oh my god, Mark is hopeless!” Chenle chirped for the 3rd time that day. He found Donghyuck rolling his eyes as he sighed. Mark was dragged to Donghyuck and Chenle’s dorm after an embarrassing scolding at the hallways when he got busted by Donghyuck while checking out his poor academic ratings. “They’re just numbers Hyuck.” Mark reasoned out which only made Donghyuck irate. “You are coming with me! Now!” Mark contemplates on cooing Donghyuck being all cute and getting scared because an angry Donghyuck is Mark’s bane. He decides it’s better to stay neutral and hide the grin forming on his face when the younger boldy grabbed his wrist, tugging him to their dorm. “That’s why he’s here. Now let me blackmail Jeno into tutoring you at Org Chem because he’s our only hope at this point.” Mark winced because Organic Chemistry is the biggest mistake he had ever made in his entire college life. The only silver lining he had with the subject was being classmates with Jeno. And the said man was busy _stalking,_ according to Donghyuck, not one, but two pretty boys around campus. One being Chenle’s cousin named Renjun who in accompaniment, friends with Donghyuck. “I never thought Renjun’s baby photos would come in handy one day.”

 

“I’m glad you made good friends.” Mark blurted out. It was an honest thought. He smiled and received a small smile back. It’s hard to talk about the past so they never brought it up even when they all came to good terms and had salvaged what’s remaining of their friendship. And in the past 3 months since he’s been _adopted_ to their little circle, the thick tension floating around the air from the first time they met has gradually decreased. They’re becoming more and more comfortable and sometimes, unacknowledged acts of affections are acted on. it’s on the little things they do. When Mark cared too much if Donghyuck was getting enough sleep and eating the right food, because he told Mark once that he’s going on a diet and the word itself made the older’s stomach churn. “ _You’re already so thin, Hyuck. What are you saying?”_ he told him with a contorted face of disbelieve but Donghyuck only laughed at him. Or when Mark would unconsciously stray from _the path towards a bright future_ , which Chenle had proudly narrate, and Donghyuck is there to chew him out, seemingly enjoying it too much, but still giving him the gentlest smiles he wears to assure that, no, Donghyuck’s not being an asshole. He’s just caring. And yes, he’s enjoying himself.

 

Mark was euphoric. He gets to hang out with his little sun and his now best friends, and his grades sky rocketed that even Donghyuck was ecstatic for him. And even though he’s been too busy with school lately, he finds time to hang out with them, hence, his daily appearance at Donghyuck and Chenle’s dorm. Jeno’s dorm was off limits for some reasons they won’t tell. Mark did not comment nor pressed. It’s not that it did not piqued his interest but when he asked Donghyuck and Chenle about it, they looked taken aback, not really expecting the question from Mark. And if Donghyuck would continually bite his lower lip while pouting, if he tries to evade Mark’s eyes and move his pupils in circles not ever landing on him or puff his cheeks enough to make Mark want to pinch them because he’s oh, so, cute! he’ll die. His heart won’t be able to take it any longer and he’ll eventually have a heart attack. So yes, he won’t ask.

 

It’s cute how Donghyuck started baking again too. He’s not being biased but Donghyuck’s pastries are out of this world and he misses the feeling of receiving food _(love)_ from the younger. He won’t say it out loud, but he loves it. Mark was sure everything was moving on a stable pace. That everything’s calmer now and although the words Jeno had said to him the day they made up still lingers on his head every now and then, he was contented with how things were. There’s no emotional turmoil, only hearty laughs. But maybe Mark was overconfident. Because as the poem goes, nothing gold can stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays everyone!!  
> I miss my Fullsun :(


	5. Regrets

“Give me one, man. Just one!” That was Lucas making pouty faces at Mark. His puppy dog eyes trailed at the brownies sitting on his study desk, with just 2 pieces left. “But Hyuck gave these to me.” He reasoned but Lucas was not having it. it’s been 3 whole packages of different types of cookies, a small round mango cheesecake, a pork floss bun and now the brownies, of Mark saying ‘No’ to his friend. “ _They smelt so good”_ Lucas told Mark when he received his first batch of oatmeal cookies which he possessively tucked in his bag when Lucas tried to take one out of force. The tongue sticking out of Mark’s mouth made the Chinese roll his eyes, a feat he has yet to perfect, but still determined to get a hold of what Mark’s eating. Mark’s sure Lucas understood why he didn’t want to share the food he received. He’d known how Mark whined about Donghyuck in their first year and Lucas was the considerate friend who listened and patted him in the back, assuring him it’s going to be okay. But maybe, after so many pleases and _give me_ made Mark a little guilty for his actions. And since he forgot to update Lucas about his status with Donghyuck, the guy freaked out when Donghyuck personally delivered the first cookies at their room. He looked aghast, his hands in the air, as he yelled, “What’s going on?!” and Mark never felt so embarrassed. Donghyuck, who was then accompanied by another boy who he later on learned as Renjun, only expressed his confusion with his lips parted, while the Chinese boy on his side tried to stifle a laugh. It was not a good first impression for someone who’s trying to regain his _good guy_ image, but thanks to some unknown forces, Renjun seemed to acknowledge his efforts. He gave a knowing smile to Mark as they bid goodbyes, eyes glinting with unspoken threats which Mark confidently translates to an _“I will kill you if you made Hyuck cry again.”_

He gave Lucas the last of the brownies in the end, and he’s not joking when he says Lucas cried at the bite. _“I begged for this!”_ he dramatically said. Wiping away stray tears from laughing so hard.

/

Mark Lee has yet again become a constant on Donghyuck’s life. He’s practically everywhere, conveniently available every day, and although Donghyuck has questioned the older’s presence, he doesn’t have the heart to tell him off. He’s not complaining. It’s just… weird. Mark has gotten over his awkward phase too. It’s like the Mark from his childhood had come back, or maybe he didn’t really change at all. And maybe Donghyuck was getting carried away, but his feelings towards the older which he was sure had depleted over the years had been bursting out of his small heart, coursing through his veins. The reason? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know a lot of things, and it’s frustrating. “Why’s Mark looking like he’s got diarrhea?” Chenle asked from across the table. They saw Mark outside the café talking to Lucas, his hands moving too much as he speaks, and his brows are creased enough to look like he has unibrow. Lucas on the other hand, looks completely normal, listening intently but clearly not understanding a thing. The time Lucas opened his mouth, Mark sighed so deep then his head whipped to Donghyuck and Chenle’s direction. He smiled at them, that awkward smile he uses whenever he’s in trouble and gave them a small wave. Lucas seemed to notice them too as he did the same thing but with more energy. This made Donghyuck tilt his head sideways. He pouted at Mark and the older stilled for many seconds until he decided to give them another wave, this time a goodbye as he drags Lucas by the wrist out of their sight. “Weird.” Donghyuck blurted out. Another frustrating thing is added on his list of Mark Lee and his shenanigans. “So, about that party next weekend,”

 

“Hey Hyuck.” Greeted Mark once the door was opened. He tried to give out a smile but Donghyuck was fast enough to roll his eyes and grunt at the visitor. “I did not give you our password to interrupt me with your knocking.” His honey voice has irritation present in it but the smile Donghyuck gave the older made Mark giddy and jumpy. Donghyuck huffed and motioned Mark to get inside which the older gladly complied. He was met with 2 pairs of eyes once he entered the living area, the first one being Chenle, waving merrily as he shouts a _’Mark! ‘Sup!’._ “Hyung.” Mark corrects. The other one whom Mark has never seen before had his eyes widely opened, his orange hair falling through his forehead. “Why is there another high school student here?” He asked, earning a laugh from Chenle. “I told you I’m just baby faced!”. Donghyuck who was seating at the floor, too invested on the book he was reading that he did not paid attention at the commotion happening. “Am I the high school student?” The orange haired whispers to himself and yet again, Chenle was laughing. “That’s Jisung, Chenle’s boyfie.” “Hyung!!” Mark saw how Jisung’s cheeks turned pink as the boy bit his lower lip. Chenle on the other hand was slapping Donghyuck for making assumptions about them being in a relationship. Mark moved on to sit beside Donghyuck as he let out a snicker directed at Chenle. “We’re just friends Mark!” He chirped. Jisung, who was just behind had his features slump down and Mark can’t help but chuckle. “It’s okay, you don’t have to make excuses.” He said, and it was Chenle’s time to blush. Donghyuck jabbed him at the side which only made them stifle a giggle. Chenle who was getting red at every passing second decided to lock himself at the bathroom, leaving a bewildered Jisung who was then cornered by the two older boys.

“So, do you have a crush on Lele or you just have a really bad case of flush?” Donghyuck started and Mark can’t help but to snicker again. He knows how Donghyuck loves to instigate. His eyes are full of excitement, prodding the younger to talk. Mark also encouraged Jisung not to be shy for they might be able to help. He was clearly joking at first, but the pink never left Jisung’s cheeks, and it crawled up to his ears and down on his neck. Both Donghyuck and Mark’s eyes widened at the unspoken confession with Donghyuck squealing and Mark slapping his thigh. “Am I that obvious?” Jisung almost whispered but the words registered on Donghyuck’s now perked ears are fast enough for the older to glow. They both bobbed their heads and Jisung might explode from the sudden heat his body is emitting. “You guys look good together, don’t worry.” Mark said and Jisung gave a small smile. “Uh, thanks. You two too.” Mark sputtered. He felt Donghyuck’s palm snake around the small of his back as he tried to relieve him from his coughing fit. “We’re not together, Jisung ah.” Donghyuck’s voice was soft, almost as if he doesn’t want to say the words. Jisung gasped at the reply and he felt the regret overcoming his body as he sees Donghyuck’s eyes fall on the floor. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I just- I thought- ‘Cause you two look at each other like that so I-“ his lips pursed before he can finish his sentence and held his hands up to his head. They all felt the awkward tension starting to bloom around the room and before one of them can run away from the stilted atmosphere, Chenle decided to appear before them. “What did I miss?” He asked as three heads look at him in a pleading manner.

 

“You guys dug your own graves!” Chenle laughed at the two older which earned him a glare from Donghyuck. Jisung left minutes ago after he suspiciously got a call from a senior asking him to _do things_. Chenle, being the gossiper that he is, pried the unnecessary information from Mark because Donghyuck refused to talk, pouting at Mark not to tell the Chinese, but ended up being bribed with free pizza. The awkwardness long gone as it was only at the spur of the moment, the two regretting their reactions immediately when they saw how guilty Jisung looked. His mouth fell ajar as his eyes gaped in an apologetic look. Chenle found it funny and cute. “Oh, shut up Le, don’t act like you were not getting all shy and acting all cute a moment ago.” Chenle made a scandalized face, a little pissed for getting the attention to him again. “You do that to Mark too!” the two bickers for a while and it was getting a little serious. Mark was starting to worry as Donghyuck’s voice was getting louder and louder. Chenle was not much of a help as he starts spouting random things at the older. “Oh really? Well, if you stop being a pussy then maybe Jisung would like you too! He might have been dating that Jaemin guy for all we know and you’re still here making a fool out of yourself!” the voices stopped. The wind inside the room stiffened and Mark feels like choking. He gave Donghyuck a comforting look as he sees how Donghyuck’s face morph into a frown as he realizes the heaviness of the words he said. Chenle walked out of the room, not paying attention to Donghyuck pleading him not to go. Mark held the younger’s wrist, preventing him to go after their friend.

“Let go, hyung. I have to apologize to Lele.” If Mark was just a bystander, he might have let go, but He’s friends with the both of them. He knows Chenle needs a breath of air. And Donghyuck needs to calm down a little more. He hesitatingly enveloped the younger in a one arm hug as he led him down at the sofa. “I’ll get you water, wait here.”

 

“Why did you say that to Lele?” Mark asked in the softest tone he could manage once Donghyuck had calmed down. The two are seated side by side at the sofa, facing forward. Mark felt Donghyuck shift on his right leaving a little space between them. Mark has an idea. An inkling of why the words came out of Donghyuck’s mouth. He never wanted to confront their past, but it seems inevitable as it still lingers on both of their hearts. “Was it because of… what happened before?” Donghyuck grimaced. He doesn’t want to touch the issue. “No.” He lied through his teeth, but the shaking of his voice tells the opposite. “I still haven’t… apologized to you.” Mark replied.

  
//

 

“They’re just rumors Hyuck, calm down!” Jeno shouted from behind a furious Donghyuck. It’s been weeks since the school started gossiping about how Mark Lee, the student council president and Captain of the basketball team was seen being mushy with a cheerleader. It really wasn’t a big deal at first, but Mark never denied it. Donghyuck talked it out to him but Mark just brushed it off. To top it off, the relationship they have at the moment wasn’t really labeled. They’re just two childhood friends being sweet and kissing ever now and then, and Donghyuck’s heart is breaking. The lead of the rumors approached him earlier and told him to _fuck off_ Mark because Donghyuck’s apparently staining his brain. It’s a good thing Jeno was with him as he gave her the deadliest glare he has ever seen. Fast forward to Donghyuck rushing off to Mark’s house with his head muddled with anxiety. They met Mark halfway. Still on his jersey, sweat starting to evaporate with his damp hair pushed away from his face.

“What the fuck- Hyuck?” Mark slapped Donghyuck’s hand on his wrist. He was tired from all the happenings that day and he just want to sleep and rest. He had enough of his groupmates messing up their report, having a grade lower than what Mark expected, his Quiz on another subject being abandoned for that shitty project that gave him another bad score, his coach trying to drill into their heads that warming up five times is the standard for every basketball team in the world, and that rumor going on around school which only brought him headaches. The least he wanted is a clearly angry Donghyuck barging at him, preventing him from having his eternal slump. “What do you want now?” He unconsciously raised his voice. He sees Donghyuck’s expression morph into rage and confusion.

“Fuck you, oh my god. What is wrong with you?!” Donghyuck shouted. Tears glazing his eyes as frustration overcome his senses. Mark was not amused. He rolled his eyes as he backs away a little just to prevent Donghyuck from touching him again. He needs space to breath. “What is wro- What is wrong with you?! You come here shouting my name for the whole neighborhood to hear!” Mark was not the type to talk without filter, but the fatigue was getting on him. He won’t back out now.

“Deny it! fucking deny it now!!” Donghyuck was raging. His body is ready to tackle Mark down if not by Jeno holding him. Maybe the madness was controlling Mark, he doesn’t know. His senses heightened up as his heart beat a mile per second.

“Deny what! How about you? Won’t you tell me what’s going on with you and Jeno?!” Donghyuck was now baffled. He doesn’t understand what Jeno has to do with their situation. “What the fuck do you mean?! Why are you changing the subject?! Deny it!!” He continued.

“And if I don’t? What can you do then?” The headache forming is enough for Mark to snap. He wants to end the things happening right now. “You don’t have any rights to tell me what to do Lee Donghyuck!”

“What?” Donghyuck’s voice quieted down. It took him his whole being not to abandon Mark and the relationship they have no matter how blur the lines between friendship and love. He’s not going to rush decisions. He feels his heart splitting into two, into pieces. “I- I’m sorry, I was angry I didn’t mean to-“

“You’re always like that you know.” Mark cut him off, clearly pissed but his eyes are like that of Donghyuck’s. Red and teary. “You’re just always assuming things. Getting ahead of yourself.” Mark didn’t mean to say it, but it turns out that when you’re mad, words come out of your mouth easily. And Donghyuck, Donghyuck is devastated with the statement. The pieces of his heart are turning to dust. The calm he kept for a second broke like a dam with rushing waters. It was like that for Mark, he thought. And so, he voiced out what concerns him the most.

“I’m not so sure of us anymore.” Donghyuck said in a faltering tone. His cheeks are covered with salty tears, his nose filled with snot. It doesn’t help with Mark snickering in front of him, the olders’ eyes although filled with tears are laced with anger and provocation.

“Is there even an “us” in the first place?” Mark tantalizes, and Donghyuck was so, so, hurt. Maybe keeping it calm was not the right choice. Giving Mark the upper hand was a regretful decision and maybe, keeping up with what they have was the least thing he should have done. “You’re a coward Mark Lee. And I hate you.” He finalizes.

“You’re worse than me Donghyuck. Remember that.”


	6. Stay Gold

“A little birdie told me you don’t want me to go to the annual frat party.” Mark rolled his eyes. He knew Lucas shouldn’t be trusted with party related things. “That guy isn’t little at all.” He felt the pang of embarrassment crawl up on his cheeks as he brings his hands to palm his face. He’s not going to agitate himself for the second time today, thank you very much. The corners of Donghyuck’s lips lifts to reveal his pearly whites, grinning. “Why not?” He asks, curiosity on his tone. Donghyuck may deny it but Mark knows the younger was born to party. He knows how Donghyuck makes every occasion, celebration, or even a simple get together vivacious. He’s the type to hype while Mark is there to watch. He’s afraid, or so to say. Maybe he’s a little possessive of the little sun. _“People will love him!”_ he begrudgingly told Lucas before. But Lucas won’t understand, because he’s like Donghyuck. Happiness lives on their bones. Energy radiates off of them even when they’re sleeping. _“And so? That’s good!”_ The Chinese replied.

“I mean- you’re… a kid?” “We’re only a year apart Mark.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes. At that, the door squeaked open revealing a shivering Chenle. The night sky evident on his back, his clothes clearly unfit for the cold weather. Donghyuck rushed to the younger and enveloped him on a tight hug. He felt his icy cold skin through the contact which only made him frown and a little guiltier from his previous actions. “Lele, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things.” Donghyuck pleaded on a muffled voice, his face pressing on the younger’s chest. It made Chenle hover his arms at the older’s body to return the hug. “I love you, hyung! I’m sorry too!” He giggles. It was a warm sight from Mark’s viewpoint. He always wondered how Donghyuck was doing when the younger decided to disappear on them. Back on the days when he helplessly asked for him weeks after ignoring him, after breaking his heart. He was sure he would never see him again and he didn’t want to either. He’s too ashamed of himself. Too self-conscious to even ask Jeno about Donghyuck’s whereabouts. The very reason why there’s a gaping crack on their relationship in which he knows he can never fix. But that was years ago. The never-ending regret flowing on his veins is now diluted with Jeno’s acceptance and Donghyuck’s forgiveness. And Chenle’s laughter. The boy did a lot for him too.

“I’ll get going.” He says, interrupting the two hugging at the front door. Their heads whipped at Mark, their eyes wide and it’s just so cute. “I’ll text you, Hyuck. I’m… I’m really sorry. Again.” He said, a little unsettled. Donghyuck pouted, his eyebrows knitted. He moved on to Mark and enveloped him on a tight hug, like the one he did for Chenle, and Mark is melting. Chenle was rendered silent. Mark was surprised at the sudden intimacy, he felt his body shaking, together with his arms, and his legs turning into jelly. His breathe hitched as he reciprocated the action with all his heart. He felt Donghyuck nuzzle his head on his neck and he’s not sure if he’s imagining the light touching of his lips that sent shivers down his spine, but he’s happy anyway. He wanted to cry again at that very moment. He wanted to say sweet nothings to Donghyuck and kiss his breathe away. He thinks it’s time for him to do things right, but he’s not going to do it impulsively again. So, he hugged him tighter, the love of his life, and Donghyuck did the same. The beating of their hearts is so loud it’s deafening.  The rhythm of their breathing is on the same pace and Mark feels so lucky. “See you tomorrow, hyung.” Donghyuck whispered so soft, only Mark can hear it. It was only meant for him. And Mark is yet again, oh, so, whipped for Lee Donghyuck. “Yes, see you, Hyuck ah.”

“What was that about?” Chenle asked once Mark was out of the room, his eyes glimmering. “We talked.” Donghyuck can’t hide the smile forming on his lips. _They talked, they finally talked._ “Come here, I’ll warm you up!” He ordered Chenle with an elated voice.

**//**

“I still haven’t… apologized to you.”

Donghyuck doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even want to listen. This is bullshit, he thought. They shouldn’t talk about it. it’s sensitive and they might fall apart again. That’s the least he wanted. “Don’t. Please, let’s not-“ “No. We need to.” Mark cuts him off with a firm voice. He hates this. He just wants to walk away like Chenle did, and just disappear, never to be found again. He doesn’t remember how but he started crying. Tears just spilled, and he can’t control it. _I hate this, I hate this._ “I don’t think I can do this, Mark.” He said in a whimper, his breathing erratic. Mark took it out to himself to soothe Donghyuck’s back. “Breathe, Hyuck. Breathe.” Donghyuck complied. It took a while to calm him down. He’s being unstable again, which was unimaginable to him at his current condition. He never thought he’d have those negative thoughts again. He closes his eyes, as he took the water Mark would offer him later. He relishes it. The memories he had when he was so lost. He stopped going to school. He doesn’t know how, but he convinced his parents to take a break from school. He was often out of town. Coming home late, his mother informing him that Jeno was looking for him before he goes out in the morning. He usually just takes the train, gets off three stations away, and stay at a convenience store near a massive mall. Unfamiliar students often that area. Uniforms he was not accustomed to. They would speak languages besides of what he knows, and he would later know it as Mandarin and Cantonese. It was fate he believes, when one day, he lost his train pass, he was short on money, and his phone was dead as a fish. He sat outside of the convenience store despite the cold weather. He was alone for some time, when one boy sat beside him. “Why are you crying?” He asked Donghyuck. He wasn’t. Or he didn’t realize that he was. He frantically wiped off the tears gracing his cheeks and sniffed between clogged nostrils. “None of your business.” Donghyuck barked. The boy only ever grinned. Donghyuck wants to punch him for being nosy, but he doesn’t even have the energy to lift a finger. “Purple or Blue?” The boy asked. Donghyuck, who had his head lowered perked up at the confusing question thrown at him. He eyed the boy. _At least he’s cute._ He told himself. Eyes that looks at him like he’s the most fragile thing in the world, lips stained cherry red, skin as white as the snow falling on their heads, and his voice. It’s soft and a little high, with a weird intonation on his words. “What?” Donghyuck asked. “Come on! Hair! I want to color my hair! So, color?” And boy, Donghyuck never knew a smile can heal hearts.

The boy, Chenle, would choose purple. “ _I love purple!!”_ he would reason, and Donghyuck would be forced to accompany him to the salon the very same day. He would later ask the boy why he approached him, when he was a stranger, who could be someone dangerous, which he is not. “But you’re not! You were crying, I just cried today, and so, birds of the same feather flocks together!” Donghyuck was pretty sure that’s not how the idiom works but he doesn’t tell. He’s fascinated with Chenle’s out-going personality and he wants to put his mind on other things. It turns out Chenle was being bullied by some of his classmates. His cousin, who goes by the name of Renjun, would often take him home but he’s got his own life too, so at times, Chenle gets beaten up at places where evidence won’t be seen. They also took his money. Donghyuck doesn’t understand. How can someone hate an angel like Chenle? So, he decided to act. If fate wanted him to mope and laze and feel his heart break once, twice, a thousand times, then fuck fate. He’s going to live how he wants. He’s become Chenle’s unofficial, paid ( _“Snacks are fine.” “I know this really good restaurant, hyung! My treat!”)_  bodyguard, while Chenle amuses him every single day. And so, their weird friendship started. Chenle has become a regular face on Donghyuck’s life, and he’s never been so well and stable. Months into their friendship, he was able to talk his problems out. Chenle was a great listener and Donghyuck is lost in time whenever they have deep conversations. He was able to reform himself into a better person. Chenle was able to convince Donghyuck to talk to Jeno, to go back to school but to Chenle’s Chinese school. (“We’ll be classmates, oh my god!”) He’s been able to be best friends with his cousin too. He appreciates Chenle so, so, much. He was fortunate to have met him.

 

“Chenle told me before that you were a jerk, and that you deserve to be beaten up by some thugs.” Donghyuck said after he calmed down. Mark elicited an embarrassed laugh. “I guess so.” “But he also told me I was wrong for dragging our unlabeled relationship for so long.” The silence was deafening. It felt like a dagger just pierced through Mark’s heart. He knew how bad it was, the relationship they had. But it was not because he didn’t like Donghyuck back. “You told me not to assume things.” Donghyuck continued, his voice faltering. Mark squeezed his own hands, as he lowers his head even more. “That was the meanest thing I was ever told in my life.” Again, silence. Mark’s throat was becoming itchy and heavy and he wants to speak but he couldn’t. Silently, he cries. He doesn’t even deserve to cry, but he did it anyway. Donghyuck wasn’t still speaking, waiting for Mark’s excuses. He wants to hear it now, if there even is one. If there’s none, then maybe it was the right choice to stay away. It was just right to give up whatever feelings he’s harboring in the depths of his soul. But Mark would eventually speak up. Because needs to. “I always thought that Jeno was the better one for you.” Mark started, a little hesitant, but nonetheless stable. “What do you mean? Jeno’s _our_ best friend.”

“I didn’t know if you knew, but Jeno confessed to me about having a crush on you when we were kids.”

“I knew, he told me.” Mark’s head never whipped so fast. Clearly stunned at the sudden revelation. “What?” Donghyuck eyes him with a confused look. “He told me he has a crush on me, but he knows I have… a crush on you, so he said he’s over it.” Mark was getting dizzy. _What the hell?_

“Hyuck, look. I always thought that you guys were a little too… close. Okay? When I first… kissed you, we both didn’t say anything. I wanted to confess but I thought it was too early. I waited, but my body would react before I could think. Whenever I see you, I would want to kiss you, make out with you. You have that effect on me, and I never complained. I always wanted to confess, but then, Jeno would tell me about those cookies you made. He was always first Hyuck, I was jealous, but I didn’t say anything. You were always talking! You’re always together, you guys even have sleep overs without me!” Donghyuck was not replying. He was just looking at Mark with emotions he doesn’t know. And before Mark could continue, Donghyuck started, “Before I explain everything, can you first tell me why you never denied that rumor?” Mark huffed. Talking it out sure is tiring. “Okay,” He said. “You remember that senior who was outed by his friends because he was caught making out with a sophomore at the Chem lab?” Donghyuck nodded. That was a very big issue at their school that lead to the expulsion of both parties. It was complete bigotry on the principal’s side.

“They were isolated Hyuck. Just for being a homosexual couple. And eventually got expelled. Can you believe that? It was something so miserable! I don’t mind if I was ignored in the hallways or be bullied by whoever, but I won’t be able to tolerate to see you in that situation. You were popular. You were a smart kid, a teacher’s favorite. You were everything a celebrity is, okay? And I know how you love to talk to people. To befriend them. You were everyone’s sunshine. My sunshine. You radiate contagious happiness. I wouldn’t want to take that away from you. That’s why when the rumors started, I thought it was a nice alibi to cover up our relationship. The biggest mistake I ever did was not discussing it with you, and I am a complete asshole for that. I am sorry because I made you feel insecure about that girl, and that I am insensitive, but Hyuck, you are the only one I can see. I don’t care about any other person. If it’s not you, then I’d rather not.” Mark didn’t know when, but he started crying too. The words burdening his very soul has been let out of his system. Thorns that were decorating his heart are finally pulled out. He breathed properly, and it never felt better. Donghyuck was crying too, but Mark was still enchanted. He wiped the tears with his thumb and gave Donghyuck a small smile. “I’m really sorry, Hyuck ah. I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry too.” Donghyuck replied immediately, his heart swelling up. “Turns out I’m really assuming.” “No! That was wrong of me, it was out of impulse and anger. I never meant anything-“ “I know! It’s okay, hyung. We’re okay.” Maybe they were both fools, Mark thought. That something so simple like talking was omitted out of the process. That their relationship would have been better if they just took the first step and listened to what the other wanted to say. It took them years, but who cares anyway? They found each other and the crack in their relationship that was initially unfixable was nowhere to be found. Mark couldn’t help but smile widely. There’s nothing that can make him feel bad today. “For the record, those cookies were for you. Jeno was the taster and the… tester… if it was edible or could actually poison you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	7. Finally

Donghyuck is an ethereal being, Mark is sure. His superior fashion sense is a given but what knocked out the air in his lungs is the glittering golden peach hue resting on his eyelids. The way his eyes sparkle with his carefully lined waterline along with the grey lenses fashioned into Donghyuck’s eyes has rendered Mark immovable and speechless. The grin Donghyuck gave Mark wasn’t helping at all. “Hey, handsome.” Donghyuck greeted with a wink and Mark is going to die tonight if Donghyuck would continually tease him with those tight ripped jeans hugging his thighs along with a sheer black button up that bares Donghyuck’s chest. “You… never dressed like that.” Mark muttered in a whisper but Donghyuck only smirked. “Well, does it look good?” Mark gulped. He’s thankful for his decisions to take out the blazer sitting at the corner of his dresser, clearly forgotten. He took it off and graced it on Donghyuck’s shoulder, carefully, gently, as he pats the younger’s shoulders. “You look lovely.” Donghyuck wasn’t impressed with his answer as he raised an eyebrow at Mark. “Okay, you look hot and sexy and fiery, but I don’t want eyes feasting on your body just because they can with that top.” Mark said in one breathe. He hears Donghyuck’s melodic giggle and felt the back of their hands brush with each other. Tonight, is going to be tough.

Chenle was just behind Donghyuck, his hair now blonde. He’s wearing a turtle neck beneath a leather jacket and he looked like he came out of a magazine. “You guys went all out!” He hears a voice just behind him who he failed to recognize as Renjun. He met him only twice, but the smile Renjun offered Mark was absolutely warm. Renjun was in simple clothes but he knows not to judge the book by its cover as he learned from Donghyuck that Renjun was actually from a very wealthy family of businessmen in mainland China. “ _Old money.”_ He told Mark when Renjun gave him a “ _souvenir”_ on their second meeting which he knows could double the price of Mark’s tuition fee. “What are you talking about? This is my most natural state!” Donghyuck argued, placing a fake offended expression. Mark is lost in their conversation as the speakers are turned on to full volume. He stood there at the living room of a frat house, bodies passing by him and his three friends as alcohol is getting passed on. He took his time to admire Donghyuck’s presence. His skin glowing under the neon lights, his eyes crinkling to every word he lets out and the way their eyes meet feels like being struck by lightning.

Mark tried to prevent this from happening. He tried to persuade the younger not to go to the party but once Donghyuck was interested, he can never be talked out of it. A week of trying felt like an unusually long time. It was supposed to be any other day but when Mark found Donghyuck waiting outside his room the morning before going to his classes, flowers on one hand and a smile Mark melted into, he knew it wasn’t. “Morning.” Donghyuck beamed at Mark with a sickeningly sweet tone. Mark isn’t complaining. He can do this every day. “I’m planning to.” Donghyuck smirked as he gently took Mark’s hand to let his fingers wrap on the flowers he’s holding out. “I said that out loud?”

They walked together to the university but not before Mark sets the flowers on a vase at his room. Everything feels new but at the same time familiar. A night of talk was all they needed for everything to fall back in place. The solution was too simple that they did not even consider it. Too afraid it might break the fragile line of their relationship. “How are things with Lele?” Mark asked, trying to start up a conversation from the comfortable silence they fell into. “Oh, nothing to worry about. Lele and I will always be in good terms no matter what.” Donghyuck cheekily told Mark. The proudness of his statement came out with a stretch of a smile his lips are forming. Mark chuckled in a low voice.

As cliché as it may sound, they fall back into the same routine that day. Mark was going over Donghyuck and Chenle’s dorm as usual, surprised to see Jeno’s face once they entered the room. “Hello, lovebirds. And Chenle.” He greeted with teasing. Mark is sure he’s red as a tomato but when he saw a glimpse of Donghyuck’s cheeks reddening before the younger can walk towards Jeno to tackle him on the floor, he felt his heart jump. Never did he know that the tension which was always there walked away with both of his anxiousness and worries. He may feel shy, but he did not complain, nor did Donghyuck. They were on the same page. “Hey Jen.” He waved and sat beside the said boy. It has been days since he last saw him, but Jeno’s still as Jeno as he is. Handsome and smart-looking. Turns out Jeno was there for Chenle, urging to boy to just confess to Jisung. But instead of getting flustered, the clear confusion at Chenle’s face was evident. “You said you didn’t like him?” “Yes, and I still don’t. But if he continues to be single, my plans will all go to waste.” Now, Donghyuck and Mark couldn’t catch up with the conversation. They eyed Jeno with suspicion, but their friend just shrugged, unwilling to spill whatever _plans_ he has. “Listen, I am going to help you.” He wriggled his brows before he let out a small devilish giggle. “Who are you and what did you do to Jeno?”

/

“He’s here, Le.” Mark hears Donghyuck whisper to the younger. Chenle shakingly breathed air and before he leaves, he turned towards Donghyuck and Mark, Renjun long gone, excusing himself that he needed to be somewhere else. “Wish me luck.” “You’ll do great.” Mark said and Donghyuck only nodded with a smile on his face. “There goes our youngest.” Donghyuck whispered on Mark’s ears as he swipes away fake tears.

Okay, Mark was right. Donghyuck shouldn’t have attended this party. Especially when Lucas was there to light up the flames in Donghyuck’s spirit. The two have been dancing _wildly_ at the center stage while Mark watches them with worry. Yes, they’re enjoying themselves and that’s a good thing. But the bodies piling up to the two is getting thicker and thicker and Mark’s veins are going to pop from anxiety. He won’t forgive anyone who comes any closer to Donghyuck’s body. And as if on cue, Donghyuck came sprawling over Mark, his back damp from the sweat, as well as his mop of hair. “Markie” He dragged the syllables out. It was too cute that Mark had forgotten what he was even anxious about. “Let’s go to the balcony!”

 

“I’m in love with parties now.” Donghyuck beamed at Mark once they were settled on the floor. It’s cold but Mark feels warm with the touching of their shoulders. He hummed in response. _I’m in love with you,_ He wants to say. There was silence. It often comes around when it’s just the two of them. Not awkward, but free from vexation. Donghyuck is swaying himself that lets their bodies graze. When he stopped, Mark felt the shift on Donghyuck’s position. When he turned, he was met with Donghyuck’s face, inches away from his. His eyes looking towards Mark’s own orbs, and it’s making the older’s heart race. “You’re blushing.” Mark thinks he even blushed more. But he did not look away. his lips pursed as he stretches out a smile. “Look who’s talking.” He replied. After months of stopping himself to hold Donghyuck’s warm, small hands, he finally did it. It was just a finger at first, until each are laced on to each, tightly gripped. It made the two of them smile ear to ear, a blast of heat overcoming their bodies. From all the things that had happened, Mark never considered the situation he is in, and he’s sure Donghyuck didn’t too. They were supposed to be strangers, hurting from each other’s presence. But here they are now, almost an inch away from touching their lips, light-headed from the bursting euphoria in the air. Donghyuck knows he and Mark share the same emotions as he tries to close his eyes and suck in a little air. Mark was cold but also warm. Donghyuck always loved that about him. He never understood why mischief has fallen towards them but then maybe that’s how it should have been. That even if they fall out of their friendship, even if they curse and shout lies, even if they try to avoid each other, maybe Mr. Fate will always let them meet halfway. It was just like the first one. The kiss. Just a peck. It was chaste and quick but when Mark opened his eyes, it wasn’t Donghyuck who was crying. “Oh, no, Mark.” Donghyuck said in a shaking voice, flustered as he meets his limit and let out the tears he was trying to stop. Mark felt the palm of Donghyuck’s hand caress his cheek. They both giggled before letting their lips touch again. This time, the contact was longer, deeper and it made Mark vulnerable. Mark missed it, the sweet taste of Donghyuck. The warmness of his inside after Mark swipe his tongue on the younger’s lips, asking for permission. He felt Donghyuck’s hand move on to his nape, then to his back, pressing him even more to Donghyuck’s body. Minutes felt like an hour and Mark doesn’t want to let go if not for a breath of air. The sight of Donghyuck’s half lidded eyes, his lips slightly parted, slick with their saliva, red and plumped, and the uneven breathing of the younger had messed up Mark’s head. He bit his lower lip and finally landed a chaste kiss on Donghyuck’s cheeks. “I- I love you, Lee Donghyuck. I always did, and I’m sorry I never told you.” He whispered. Donghyuck gave a knowing smile to Mark and launched himself to the older, their bodies hitting the floor. “Finally! I love you too!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't supposed to be here, but I guess the supposed ending felt lacking so yay! It's finally done. Thank you for reading! :)


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